So went to see Ross Noble on Monday which was ace. Marianne made him a doll which he loved, he spoke to her which she loved and even disputed the exsistance of the red panda.
Tuesday was spent in a dreadful mood as i had to be at Uni all day then had to work at the Horn and Shitpit whilst the freshers Pj pub crawl was inj full swing. Ruth, the cow from my tutor who has taken great delight in telling everyone last year how much she dislikes me (ive never said anything to her so i have no idea why im hated :S ) came in and pulled me over the bar for a kiss. No idea what shes playing at but its pissing me off, why cant people leave me alone!
Wednesday was spent at a Rueben gig, a punky band from back in my youth. They were supported by Enjoy Destroy and Someother band i missed most of as i was buying Merch and i was drunk. Again went with Ben and Marianne.
Wednesday was also the day i realised i really have lost all feelings for Sean. I just cannot be arsed anymore, im not a freaking doormat! Barely even said hello to me when i went over on wednesday so im thinking fuck it. If he wants to talk to me he can make the first moves. Im sick to my wisdom teeth with it. My life is too short and too hetic to bother pining over a man who probably wouldnt notice if i dropped off the end of the earth tomorrow.
Its a shame because it means i just dont like hanging out at Montreal ave anymore. I love Ben and me and Marianne are getting on better now we arent in each others pockets. But i guess we all just grow out of things after a while. Ive got less need to spend all my time over there now since me and my tutor group are getting to know each other better. I can see this being a good year.
I also have two new mumbers and a crazy man stalking me at the pub. Why are the nice guys always actually mental! The first number was a nice 32 year old called Ian who rides motorbikes (!) travels and has a good job as an aircraft engineer, or something. Lives in Yate which is a little far but i could have dealt with that...untill he starts texting me dirty things on the Wednesday night. Sigh. Im worth a little more then that. Then the mental guy asks for my number the same night. Also called Ian, works at the BBC in Bristol, flat in Clifton, probably makes a bit of cash. Then he has a few more vodkas, tells me how much he likes me, grabs my arm, tries to hug and kiss me. All whilst Lukasz had left me upstairs with this madman. Tonight he was just as bad, came up right behind me when i was trying to get some cash out for a taxi. Putting his arms around me, trying to kiss me. He text me3 times as i was working asking if he could come home with me. I mean Jesus christ hes 30 and hes acting like a love struck drunken 15 year old. I text him on the way home and told him i did not appriciate him touching me that way and reiterated that i only wanted to be friends (i dont but to be honest i think telling him i dont even like to see him anymore would prob be a bad idea). He refused to leave untill he kissed me on the cheek last night so my dorrlady had to escort me to my taxi.
Since when did everything get so complicated and so interesting at the same time? Bring on the men who arent either out for a shag or a complete loony.
I guess it could be worse, i could be a rapist...
Peace out fans
Saturday, 29 September 2007
Monday, 24 September 2007
Unintentional ode to Ben
The boy called me this evening to provide a distraction from the annoying girl on the bus that usually blahed at her all the way home which i thought was funny. Its a shame i didnt realise she was working as i had been in Cribs all afternoon waiting to have my hair cut. It looks ok but not as dramatic as i had hoped, and as usual it wont style because its poker fucking straight. Sigh. Its hard being a young girl in this shallow, physical appearance driven world....
Any way it's off to see Ross Noble tomorrrow, The Boy has knitted an effergy ofthe great northern comic so we shall see how that goes down. Hopefully he wont think we are crazy stalker fans with a shrine in our rooms trying to Voodoo him into bed (though as the boy hates aussies and his wife is one im sure she would think one up to the Poms)
Spoke to Sean this evening, he says he didnt know about the party on friday as the others arent talking to him, (Im not suprised to be honest but it isnt my house so it isnt my business)and thats why he had the girl over. He also claims that hes been giving me space to help me heal or something. Well thats a nice thought but he could have told me as i have been sitting here wondering what the hell is wrong with me for him to be avioding me. Bloody idiot. He claims to be wondering if he should stay in Bristol. Id like him to stay, i do miss the dick head, i could just do without the hold he has on me at the moment. The ability to make me feel wanted and needed one minute then lost and frozen out the next. I guess this is what the boy was trying to explain to me when she talked about Ben. Though Ben isnt a gormless knob.
Id like to live with Ben. He could have the spare room for his toys and he can poke me to do essays. Id poke him to go and meet a nice young proffesional girl and settle down. I would have liked to have got to know him better when i was staying there but i became a little too wrapped up in me and my misery to really chat. T hough we had a good session in the pub once and i realised he was a human and not a robot, able to rationalise everything with hte super power of being THE most patient thing on the planet. I swear the rage will turn into cancer one day. Id like to go to his wedding when he's old (itl be a last minute thing)and Jeff McDeath can be my "date"...
Daydreaming is weird.
I think i better sign off now as i have managed to fuck up my whole week by looking at some freshers timetable rather then my own. Its hard being this thick, sometimes i forget to breathe and shit.
Laters
Any way it's off to see Ross Noble tomorrrow, The Boy has knitted an effergy ofthe great northern comic so we shall see how that goes down. Hopefully he wont think we are crazy stalker fans with a shrine in our rooms trying to Voodoo him into bed (though as the boy hates aussies and his wife is one im sure she would think one up to the Poms)
Spoke to Sean this evening, he says he didnt know about the party on friday as the others arent talking to him, (Im not suprised to be honest but it isnt my house so it isnt my business)and thats why he had the girl over. He also claims that hes been giving me space to help me heal or something. Well thats a nice thought but he could have told me as i have been sitting here wondering what the hell is wrong with me for him to be avioding me. Bloody idiot. He claims to be wondering if he should stay in Bristol. Id like him to stay, i do miss the dick head, i could just do without the hold he has on me at the moment. The ability to make me feel wanted and needed one minute then lost and frozen out the next. I guess this is what the boy was trying to explain to me when she talked about Ben. Though Ben isnt a gormless knob.
Id like to live with Ben. He could have the spare room for his toys and he can poke me to do essays. Id poke him to go and meet a nice young proffesional girl and settle down. I would have liked to have got to know him better when i was staying there but i became a little too wrapped up in me and my misery to really chat. T hough we had a good session in the pub once and i realised he was a human and not a robot, able to rationalise everything with hte super power of being THE most patient thing on the planet. I swear the rage will turn into cancer one day. Id like to go to his wedding when he's old (itl be a last minute thing)and Jeff McDeath can be my "date"...
Daydreaming is weird.
I think i better sign off now as i have managed to fuck up my whole week by looking at some freshers timetable rather then my own. Its hard being this thick, sometimes i forget to breathe and shit.
Laters
Saturday, 22 September 2007
So my first blog...
If you dont count that verbal piffle that was my rant on Myspace! Hello fellow Bloggers and blog lurkers this is my first attempt at a blog. It's a bit like when i claimed i "hated" converse shoes...but 4 years later bought some anyway.
I apologise in advance if anyone i know stumbles upon this and is offended...obviously if i didnt want people to read this i would have written on that ancient artifact known as paper, but there is some sick part of me that craves attention whether it is positive of negative...il just go ahead and blame my mother or something!
So the main point of this online bandwagon is to tell you all about my life...that is if yours is so boring you have to read the accounts of others...It will mostly be bitching as that is what i do best. I am Madame grump and i enjoy that label.
So the last few months...what a rollercoaster ride of emotion and tantrums that has been. For those who have had the displeasure of reading my garbled and slated myspaz blog you will know the story. I meet a man on the internet, turns out he used to work for PGL and lives in Bristol. He comes round with curry, we have sex, i already know he is engaged, we carry on sleeping with each other till he breaks up with the fiance, then it all goes to shit. Take a mental breath.
Without going into too much boring detail me and Sean were really into each other. I was pondering about what to do over my summer holiday and he suggests i move into his house with Ben and Marianne (and later Sam). As i spend most of my spare time at thier house anyway (they are all self confessed geeks, have the same sick sense of humour i do and can be some of the best people you would ever want to be with) i hastly agree and cancel my plans to go back to PGL. At first it is fine. I am sharing a room with Sean and getting on with the others fine. The girl who has been living there over the past month as apparently the uni tutor she was living with has fallen in love with her. (What is it about this girl, everyone wants her!!) So it takes me a few days to realise that Sean doesnt want anything to do with me. Fast forward the next 6 weeks where i am going through emotional hell wondering what is going on between them hearing different things from different people and i finally get it out of him that he likes her and wants to see what might happen.
So now here we are. I am now in my new digs back with the old flat mates and promptly being ignored by Daniel. He has all the time in the world for her yet none for me. Go figure. But hey it can only get better right? Im off to see Ross Noble on Monday, i get to work on Tuesday night and I get to see a band called Ruben on wednesday. That coupled with the next few weeks filled with lectures, Nursing society events and getting horribly drunk im sure i wont have that much time to even think about it anymore.
Anyway that is the horribly emotionally emo bit out of the way and im sure the next few posts are going to be a lot more light hearted and witty. It may not be updated that often as i feel that it is a waste of my time to start writing "i woke up today and had a piece of taost then i had a shower then i had another piece of toast..."
Anyway laters fans
xx
I apologise in advance if anyone i know stumbles upon this and is offended...obviously if i didnt want people to read this i would have written on that ancient artifact known as paper, but there is some sick part of me that craves attention whether it is positive of negative...il just go ahead and blame my mother or something!
So the main point of this online bandwagon is to tell you all about my life...that is if yours is so boring you have to read the accounts of others...It will mostly be bitching as that is what i do best. I am Madame grump and i enjoy that label.
So the last few months...what a rollercoaster ride of emotion and tantrums that has been. For those who have had the displeasure of reading my garbled and slated myspaz blog you will know the story. I meet a man on the internet, turns out he used to work for PGL and lives in Bristol. He comes round with curry, we have sex, i already know he is engaged, we carry on sleeping with each other till he breaks up with the fiance, then it all goes to shit. Take a mental breath.
Without going into too much boring detail me and Sean were really into each other. I was pondering about what to do over my summer holiday and he suggests i move into his house with Ben and Marianne (and later Sam). As i spend most of my spare time at thier house anyway (they are all self confessed geeks, have the same sick sense of humour i do and can be some of the best people you would ever want to be with) i hastly agree and cancel my plans to go back to PGL. At first it is fine. I am sharing a room with Sean and getting on with the others fine. The girl who has been living there over the past month as apparently the uni tutor she was living with has fallen in love with her. (What is it about this girl, everyone wants her!!) So it takes me a few days to realise that Sean doesnt want anything to do with me. Fast forward the next 6 weeks where i am going through emotional hell wondering what is going on between them hearing different things from different people and i finally get it out of him that he likes her and wants to see what might happen.
So now here we are. I am now in my new digs back with the old flat mates and promptly being ignored by Daniel. He has all the time in the world for her yet none for me. Go figure. But hey it can only get better right? Im off to see Ross Noble on Monday, i get to work on Tuesday night and I get to see a band called Ruben on wednesday. That coupled with the next few weeks filled with lectures, Nursing society events and getting horribly drunk im sure i wont have that much time to even think about it anymore.
Anyway that is the horribly emotionally emo bit out of the way and im sure the next few posts are going to be a lot more light hearted and witty. It may not be updated that often as i feel that it is a waste of my time to start writing "i woke up today and had a piece of taost then i had a shower then i had another piece of toast..."
Anyway laters fans
xx
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