Oh yeah and then

I got someone suspended at work on Tuesday and yelled at someone today for being rude and feel horribly bad about it.

Argh.

I need some goddamn fun

This week

Very quickly;

- Started a new cake business which is doing well but i need more customers
- Found that a combination of 2 hours of dentistry, having to make your own dinner knowing full well it'l be agony eating it then spending an evening alone is a good way to put you in a shit mood for a few days
- Bought a dress for a wedding that needs altering
- Has a date on Friday
- Feeling unappreciated
- Having a new life plan fucked by the government so i am STILL stuck in my job
- I suck at rolling dice
- New friends are fun but i need more
- I need a holiday...i need someone to go on holiday with

Fin.

Meant to put this up earlier in the week

A German student "mooned" a group of Hell's Angels and hurled a puppy at them before escaping on a stolen bulldozer, police have said.

Best news story of 2010. Fact.

Golly where did that come from?

I took my measurements last night 32 28 46. Fourty-chuffing-six. I put back on the weight i lost last year and after catching myself in the reflection of a bus stop today looking terrible i have realised i can't keep up like this.

My sisters boyfriend has offered to put me a plan together (he used to be a personal trainer) of exercise and a diet that should be easy enough to understand, probably not so easy to follow though! I ideally want to lose about 3 stone in weight and actually do it this time.

Yes i am well aware this about the 30th post on my being a fatty, i just seem to have no will power at all, this is not a good thing!

Oh noes!

The sleeping tablets work alright, but i dreamt that i was on holiday and Dan turned up with his girlfriend and everyone was on his side.

Fuck you sleeping pills ¬_¬

Soooooo

I've been signed off work for a few days with stress, anxiety and insomnia and have been prescribed sleeping pills. The Dr seems to think it is unresolved issues concerning my father dying 10 years ago. I'm not so sure but it's a start. She has referred me for free counciling so we shall see how that goes.

I feel better now someone is listening and taking notice who can provide me with pills and help so that's a bonus.

Anyway, here is something that made me smile.

Roses only last like a couple weeks and that's if you leave them in water and they really only exist to be pretty so that's like saying "my love for you is transitory and based solely on your appearance" but a potato! potatos last for fucking ever, man in fact, not only will they not rot, they actually grow shit even if you just leave them in the sack that part alone makes it a good symbol but there's more! there are so many ways to enjoy a potato! you can even make a battery with it! and that's like saying "i have many ways in which I show my love for you" and potatoes may be ugly, but they're still awesome so that's like saying "it doesn't matter at all what you look like, I'll still love you"

I would quite happily accept a potato as a gift on this basis!

Never

Pixie took me out and it seems a lot better. Ten point plan made and ready to be put into action...

Worrying

I am rather concerned by my erratic behaviour of late. I was up at 2am this morning cleaning my bathroom because i thought the sink looked dirty. I am constantly cooking or baking and i haven't seen anyone i know in 24 hours and no one is answering my text messages. This has caused one panic attack and one episode of hysterical tears. I also keep waking up in the night thinking there is something in the flat. Not someone. Something.

This, with the undiagnosed rash is all causing a bit of a headache. I seem to have gone batshit mental and i don't have much of a clue as to why.

I'm fed up of being on my own and fed up of being an emotional wreck.

Le Fuck take two

Here is how not to spend a Saturday.

Do not get up, realise the rash on your arm has got worse, call NHS Direct, get told someone will call you back later, check your symptoms on-line and have the Nurse who calls you back send you to the walk in centre.

Do not then expect to be seen in about 30 minutes at the walk in centre but sit for 2 hours after having no breakfast waiting to called in only to be told that they haven't a clue what is wrong with you but it might be bad so just keep an eye on it.

It isn't a great idea to then go into your place of work filled with the elderly and pregnant staff members brandishing this mystery rash around only to be told that it could in fact the shingles which is detrimental to the health of everyone who prodded me today.

So that is another day off work, another trip to a medical professional on Monday and fingers crossed it isn't shingles and i am spared the pain it brings on.

Bugger.

When it rains

So after the horrible news that my friends relationship had broken down (she is now sofa surfing) mine also came to an end.

We realised we were just far too different and it was probably best all round to quit whilst we still liked each and go back to being friends. I will miss him terribly but onward and upwards as they say.

Still you were an exquisite mistake and thank you.

ARGH