I did a silly thing

Slept with my ex last night now he is ignoring me. Ass hole.

The fight!

Stayed up to watch the fight last night and i am so tired! Sean is guilting me into runnin gthe pub again whilst he takes a girl out. I don't mind to a certain point but this is two days in a row now that ive had to do it. Though he did buy me chinese yesterday (it wasnt very nice but it isnt his fault), it would just be nice if my days off meant just that :P Next week will be horrendous as i am am trying to mop up the shifts that our ass manager wont be here for as he is galivanting in Turkey..or Greece. It's the same place isnt it?

Talking of forign people, our doorman darious still thinks we are going to get together. He told me that "he is nice man with money who can buy house and car, i wants girl who is no trouble. No drugs" hmmmmm. I just dont think he has really thought this through. Hes a good devout christian man. Im a whore who smokes too much...and doesnt understand a word the man says!

It was very hard last night i was sat next to Kev...who was drunk (as usual..to be honest im going right off the idea of me and him. We have naff all in common and he doesnt seem to want to do anything) Rich, who i am completely in love, Sean next to him then Darious. It took every strength of my being not to nestle my head on rich and go to sleep. Kev certainly wasnt going to offer his shoulder. He wont even touch me :(

Max (who works wednesdays) and her fiances mate was rather fit though. i may text her...though im pretty sure he's not into me either.

Im pretty sure i just need a good shag. My horn has gone into over drive...im even finding myself fantising about having sex with the other doorman tollis and a few of the regulars. Its pathtic! Lol i never realised my sex drive was that high. Sex with Sean is always on his terms...which is very frustrating as if im not careful i could start feeling used. Ha who cares, its the only offers of sex im getting.

Well i had better sign off as i am running the pub yet again. Sigh. Wish someone would take me out on a Sunday :(

Gigs

Damn thing was canceled so now its another night in the cat. Sigh. A bit of excitement is just too much to ask isn't it.

Internet comics

I spent most of me evening last night looking at web comics with maz. They do make me feel better if im feeling pooey :P Not that i have been feeling pooey, ive been quite chipper of late. Not long till i move, not long till pay day, not long till i go to my friends wedding with one of my other friends whom i LOVE and not long till i start my new uni course. Summer is nearly upon us and i have been making plans for a holiday of some description. I want to do something...anything. Im sick of Bristol and bumming about.I want to go to Cornwall (even though everyone does) and sit on a beach, eat burgers, drink heavily, bed a sexy surfer, go on a boat trip and see a basking shark. I dont really have anyone to go with though.

Although im as happy as ive ever been, im very aware of my distinct lack of friends. Mostly its due to my laziness with keep in touch and the fact i never go anywhere to meet new people. Some people are ok with that but i am a very social person and i need to have a few groups to lean on now and then. Hopefully sept will bring new friends and holidays though :)

Going to a gig tonight with Max and a gig tomorrow with Grace and co so it should be an ace weekend.

Dating

Went on the date with IT guy, by the end i had drunk him under the table which was amusing. He wasnt really my type but it was a nice evening. Now to let him down gently that we wont be making sweet love. However i am starting to come round to the idea of me and Kev. He's one of the locals at the pub. He has some problems but he is a sweet guy and we have fun. It would be nice if he made a move, but i cant see it happing. And if it all went wrong itwould make things very uncomfortable :S We shall see.

Lies and happiness

So (im going to call her ash) came over last friday and i almost cried in fury. I hate her. Sean seems to like her for whatever reason, i make my peace, im more or less fine with it...as long as i never ever have to share breathing space with her. Hes also on a date tonight, again im fine with it...10 out of 10 for progress! Im very proud of myself. I know youre reading this so well done for landing a hot chick, at least this one isnt fat or a fake lesbian.

On a slightly less sour note i have a date tomorrow with a very nice chap. Ive bought a dress and everything. It will all go horribly wrong because me and boys dont seem to gel at all but Marianne is doing my hair and stuff so at least il look pretty.

Went to see a few bands last night, was nice to be out of the pub and threshers doing something not wankerish. Ive been trying to do something interesting with my time but people keep letting me down so this was the next best thing. I had a great time with Ben and Maz and the lead singer from Gay for Jonny Depp touched my boob, which is freaking awesome. Had too much to drink, couldnt sleep on those fucking sofas and ended up with a runny nose. Unimpressed. But im trying not to let it bother me too much though the constant need to sniff is getting on my tits. I blame Sean.

Looking forward to getting the car, im sick of having to stay over at the pub. Contrary to popular belief i dont like being there 24/7 it does my head in. Im imposing myself on others andgetting under their feet. Again once the car comes i wont have to be there. Thank god.

Im pretty sure thats all i have to moan about for now. Catch you soon.

Apparently

Im just not interesting anymore. I feel more and more like i just dont matter.

However i have a date next Friday. Woohoo.