* Things in the house are very strained. Cannot be in the same room as him without shaking and panicking. I feel bad about this because i should be strong, but i just can't muster it anymore.
* Fattest i have ever been right now so diet is starting as of tomorrow. I eat my feelings (i've stolen that off someone else's blog but it spoke to me lol) so as im worried, sad and depressed i'm eating, if i'm happy, i'm eating, hung over, yep eating. Today i bought Granola, low fat yogurt and fruit. Nom.
* Still worrying about saving for the deposit on the new flat wherever it may be. The minute i save anything it gets spent on another bill. I'm going to really have to save over the next few weeks and hope for the best. Fingers crossed for me because i can't stay here.
*Cat is being less senile but did try and sit on top of our new flat screen tv to mike and I's horror.
* Met two men who are perfect, both live far away. Sigh.
Monday, 30 March 2009
Sunday, 29 March 2009
Wedding update
Willard this is the dress i'l be marrying you in. Just so you can colour co-ordinate :D
Lulz
Wednesday, 25 March 2009
Oh dear
The bill was not paid as promised, text messages were sent, phone calls went unanswered so direct action was taken. I was asked to leave, i asked for answers. I was threatened, i stood my ground, i was picked up and thrown, i came back fighting and kicking, i was laughed at, i hit out, i was thrown again and hurt. Perhaps i should have left? Perhaps i should have ignored it. Perhaps i shold learn to stop biyin goff more then i can chew.
The cat was petrified. This angers me the most. I should have just ignored it, i should have kept my mouth shut but i have to fight. Knives were picked up, considered and put back. Both of us full of contempt for the other. I need this hell to end soon before one of us gets hurt.
The cat was petrified. This angers me the most. I should have just ignored it, i should have kept my mouth shut but i have to fight. Knives were picked up, considered and put back. Both of us full of contempt for the other. I need this hell to end soon before one of us gets hurt.
Tuesday, 24 March 2009
Ah well
As i guessed the boy is not interested due to his own personal things going on right now. Now i am sat destroying my diet by eating chocolate and trying to remind myself that it's him not me. Sigh. Oh well perhaps i have made a friend instead.
Pah.
Pah.
Monday, 23 March 2009
Lady Charlie Foxton
So Willard and i are to wed and i am to become Lady Charlie Foxton demanding horses should be bought to the parlour and extra dogs are put on the bed if it's chilly. He has also allowed me to have a pig roast for the meal (1000 if i so desire apparently) a Nigella chocolate cake as i hate marzipan and i am allowed to get married in a polka dot, red, halter neck 1950's inspired dress.
It is amazing what happens to a conversation when one is home alone and the other is procrastinating from writing about Nazis or something. However the man has made me feel a little better about a few things, such as my ridiculous social anxiety, my need to save people rather then help myself and i got to talk about myths and legends which is always nice. So thank you Willard, much appreciated.
In other news...well there is barely any. Boy stuff had hit stalemate so i may have blown it by being very forthright and just saying "you know i do fancy the pants off you don't you?", i look forward to his reply. If he doesn't feel the same, no worries :)
In work news I now sit next to "Glamour girl Sarah" Who is trying to make it into he Glamour industry but is being scuppered by certain photographers being arrested on child porn charges. I should really hate this girl, she is plastic, spoilt and a bit thick but she is so good natured it is silly to. She told us all today with great conviction that "a radio station told me that actually Hitler wasn't that bad really, there is scientific proof". She didn't quite get my joke about Stalin starting a literacy programme for the unfortunate. She also finds Scat hilarious and jokes about penis' delightful. I have applied for a job back with the Dental surgery but the one based in Clifton, if the pay is better then i am on now then i'l take it (obviously if they offer it) the job wasn't bad, it was the terrible woman running the show, here is hoping i don't get a bad reference.
To finish, El Retardo the wonder feline hasn't really done anything that retarded apart from sitting on a plate and looking like a suckling pig. She has also pooed n the carpet twice and was sick once on the table. Damn cat.
Peace out
It is amazing what happens to a conversation when one is home alone and the other is procrastinating from writing about Nazis or something. However the man has made me feel a little better about a few things, such as my ridiculous social anxiety, my need to save people rather then help myself and i got to talk about myths and legends which is always nice. So thank you Willard, much appreciated.
In other news...well there is barely any. Boy stuff had hit stalemate so i may have blown it by being very forthright and just saying "you know i do fancy the pants off you don't you?", i look forward to his reply. If he doesn't feel the same, no worries :)
In work news I now sit next to "Glamour girl Sarah" Who is trying to make it into he Glamour industry but is being scuppered by certain photographers being arrested on child porn charges. I should really hate this girl, she is plastic, spoilt and a bit thick but she is so good natured it is silly to. She told us all today with great conviction that "a radio station told me that actually Hitler wasn't that bad really, there is scientific proof". She didn't quite get my joke about Stalin starting a literacy programme for the unfortunate. She also finds Scat hilarious and jokes about penis' delightful. I have applied for a job back with the Dental surgery but the one based in Clifton, if the pay is better then i am on now then i'l take it (obviously if they offer it) the job wasn't bad, it was the terrible woman running the show, here is hoping i don't get a bad reference.
To finish, El Retardo the wonder feline hasn't really done anything that retarded apart from sitting on a plate and looking like a suckling pig. She has also pooed n the carpet twice and was sick once on the table. Damn cat.
Peace out
Saturday, 21 March 2009
Friday, 20 March 2009
A boy
I met a boy and i think he maybe likes me too perhaps. I've invited him for dinner next week. If he isn't working too hard he will come. Very very terribly excited. I'm not going to say anymore incase it taints it though....
Sunday, 15 March 2009
Saturday, 14 March 2009
Self sabotage times 2
Yeah i had another Chris Moyles sex dream last night, he was going to leave his girlfriend for me, he took me in his arms and kissed me looked me in the eyes and said..."cracking tits" It seems even my dreams are out to sabotage me. Argh
I also tried to be charming whilst drunk last night. Unfortunately i come off as rather boring and a bit mental. I'm not sure why my brain allows me to do. I met so very lovely men at Willards birthday party (as wonderful as i expected, really really entertaining guy) and i managed to look a complete tit.
Though Ben and i did eat 28 chicken dippers and 6 yorkshire puddings when we got home...you can't look stupid in front of a chicken dipper.
Facepalm.
I also tried to be charming whilst drunk last night. Unfortunately i come off as rather boring and a bit mental. I'm not sure why my brain allows me to do. I met so very lovely men at Willards birthday party (as wonderful as i expected, really really entertaining guy) and i managed to look a complete tit.
Though Ben and i did eat 28 chicken dippers and 6 yorkshire puddings when we got home...you can't look stupid in front of a chicken dipper.
Facepalm.
Wednesday, 11 March 2009
The epic adventures of senile the senile cat...
Duh duh duh duh duuuuuuuuh
This week she has been practising the art of surfing. In the bath i hear you cry...oh no. She likes to take a running leap at the table where i "file my paper work" (read dump the bills and hope the magical fairy of taking some responsibility waves her wand over the rest of the household...i digress) and slides effortlessly to the other end of the table leaps once again into the air to land neatly on top of the telebox. Note i have only seen her do this twice this evening, it may have been fluke.
I think i may put a brick up there and see what happens....
This week she has been practising the art of surfing. In the bath i hear you cry...oh no. She likes to take a running leap at the table where i "file my paper work" (read dump the bills and hope the magical fairy of taking some responsibility waves her wand over the rest of the household...i digress) and slides effortlessly to the other end of the table leaps once again into the air to land neatly on top of the telebox. Note i have only seen her do this twice this evening, it may have been fluke.
I think i may put a brick up there and see what happens....
Monday, 9 March 2009
Weekend away
So had to get away from the house for a bit. Council tax problems, people problems and general melancholy forced me to leave so back to my parents i went for a long weekend of "relaxation". As usual i stayed with Tom and realised that no, his personal hygiene is so goddam awful i just did not fancy him any more, which is a shame as i was hoping the usual evening activities would help to destress. I ended up cleaning thier flat (yes i know i hate cleaning and moan about doing it here but i had a lot of energy to burn)
Sunday was horse riding day...it was also the day of biting ones tounge as my sister had decided to loan a hoe with less then 6 months riding experience. As much as this information pains me i had to keep quiet as she is a very difficult person. Even though i barely said a word to her she still accused me of being patronising. So in retailation i rode her horse better then she ever could, took it for a gallop, jumped a small stream and schooled it for half an hour. She had told me before hand the damn thing wouldn 't even trot. Pah, it was barely blowing (that's being out of breath non horse fans).
Thats the little blighter there. Oliver.
So it's nice to be home...though of course the first thing i have to do is clean up the kitchen which was unwelcome. And i have a cough whcih is equally unwelcome. But i did get new face metal, horray!
Bring on the week.
Sunday was horse riding day...it was also the day of biting ones tounge as my sister had decided to loan a hoe with less then 6 months riding experience. As much as this information pains me i had to keep quiet as she is a very difficult person. Even though i barely said a word to her she still accused me of being patronising. So in retailation i rode her horse better then she ever could, took it for a gallop, jumped a small stream and schooled it for half an hour. She had told me before hand the damn thing wouldn 't even trot. Pah, it was barely blowing (that's being out of breath non horse fans).
Thats the little blighter there. Oliver.
So it's nice to be home...though of course the first thing i have to do is clean up the kitchen which was unwelcome. And i have a cough whcih is equally unwelcome. But i did get new face metal, horray!
Bring on the week.
Wednesday, 4 March 2009
This one is for Ben
2
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March 3, 2009
Bully Not So Tough after Molestation
Filed under : Irish News
A 10 year old boy’s 5 year reign of terror over classmates in a Co.Galway primary school came to an abrupt end last week after his father “Raped the living the shit out of him”
Bully, Butch Masterson, had wreaked havoc over students at St. Lukes Primary school in Tuam since enrolling there as a 5 year old. The 14 Stone behemoth ran riot through the playground each lunchtime administering atomic Wedgies, Mega-Nuggies and piling on anyone that crossed his path, including teachers.
Described by one former teacher as having more learning difficulties than Helen Keller with Cerebral Palsy, the youth turned to violence to strike fear into his peers.
“Everyday was a nightmare”, remarked one former teacher, “He would march up and down the schoolyard beating on anyone he could get his hands on. Admittedly the only person he could catch regularly was little Adenbiyi Ukelele, the little Sudanese boy with Polio, but we were powerless to stop him, even if we had wanted to. That poor little cripple got the fuck knocked out of him for five years. One time I did try to put a stop to it but I ended up eating the back waistband of my g-string. He was some man for the wedgies, the fat little cunt.”
When details of the young boy’s ordeal over the same 5 year period came to light they were greeted with great joy at St. Lukes with none happier that little Adenbiyi Ukelele. “I am hoping his asshole very hurt a lots!!”
Mystery still surrounds the case as many people are finding it difficult to believe that anyone could rape such a fat ugly little bastard when there are plenty of sexy kids so freely available in the neighbourhood.
Will the last one to die please turn the light off?
Just sat and watched Children of Men. It's one of those films that i love but will only watch once a year, if that because otherwise it's not special any more. I bawled all the way through it as i usually do with any apocolyptic film, 28 days later, Independence day, Bill and Teds excellant adventure...wait. Still it's nice to have a good cry isn't it?
Got a few gigs coming up which is nice, not been gigging for a while so it will provide much a needed distraction from goings on at home (which i am not at liberty to discuss...incredible that i can keep my side of the bargin and no one else can, eh?)
Also introducing a new feature to the blog, it's going to be weekly and called "Stupid things what my cat does coz she is stoopid" Or "The adventures of senile cat" or lastly "Retardo cat, the epic" Please vote...if you care.
Anyway this week she has been mostly...eating my goddam hair. I use a Conditioner from Lush called American Dream. Its a sickly sweet concoction of Coconut and vanilla and she goes mad for it. She will stick my hair in her mouth, chew a bit then spit out, then go for some more. What a retard.
Stay tuned next week for more adventures.
Got a few gigs coming up which is nice, not been gigging for a while so it will provide much a needed distraction from goings on at home (which i am not at liberty to discuss...incredible that i can keep my side of the bargin and no one else can, eh?)
Also introducing a new feature to the blog, it's going to be weekly and called "Stupid things what my cat does coz she is stoopid" Or "The adventures of senile cat" or lastly "Retardo cat, the epic" Please vote...if you care.
Anyway this week she has been mostly...eating my goddam hair. I use a Conditioner from Lush called American Dream. Its a sickly sweet concoction of Coconut and vanilla and she goes mad for it. She will stick my hair in her mouth, chew a bit then spit out, then go for some more. What a retard.
Stay tuned next week for more adventures.
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