Indifference

So called because the ositive and the negative are pretty much equal. Perhaps indiffernece is the wrong word but ive got that alevel in english literature not language! So yeah had an interview with a recruitment agency but its not got very far as i dived out of the house forgetting the relevent documentation they needed...bad start. So i have to go drop that in on monday.

Work was ok last night, got to bar someone. But then some people came in for a lock in, were very rude and ignored me even though i stayed up till 2am to serve them. Not impressed. And i had to bar someone who was obviously mentally unhinged. Had a good cry at about 4am this morning because...well because im an emotional fag at the moment. Smeared makeup all over my face and teh back of my hand and achieved that goth/emo/scene look attempted by so many.

My skin has cleared up laods which is suprising considering the stress i am under but starting to feel down about the being single thing again. I know its only seeming a big deal because of everything else going on so i am trying to grit my teeth and get on with it. Trying being the oprative word. Argh its so hard having a "crazy brain" as Maz puts it. I am sick of sitting around in my own filth waiting for people to get back to me. Ive held up my end of the bargin why cant they? I have sent my CV to about 100 people and jobs and so far nothing. Granted i was an idiot to forget my passport but that is easily rectified.

Anyway posted off mums mothers day card today so that should go some way to show her im not a total fuck up. Sean has been giving me his point of view on mine and my mother relationship, and whilst i agree to a point we will never fully reach an agreement on it as we had totally different upbringings. I love him for talking to me about it though. I mean the woman is the only parent i have, i cant afford to lose her too.